Let me just say it out loud. It has been a tough month. It has been a tough couple of months. See why was that so hard to admit and put out there for the world to see? I know why.
Judgey Judgerson scares me. I am scared of being judged.
I am a grown middle-aged woman and I am still scared of being judged. One should probably be used to it by now right? Thirty-something years of existence and a person should more or less be able to ignore or not be affected by what other people think. But this is not the case for everyone. I applaud you if Judgey doesn’t scare you at all.
As a kid, we are judged by our work in school, the awards we get, the school we graduate from, the amount of friends we have, and then eventually that becomes being judged by the kind of work we do, who we marry, and then just when we thought there should be an end to these, it gets even worse.
As mommas, we are judged for every single decision that we make for our children and I mean every single one. We are judged by the number of children that we decide to have, if we breastfeed or bottlefeed, cloth diaper or use disposables, drink coffee or feed our kids chocolates. We are judged for every sneeze and sniffle. We are judged by each action our kid makes. We are judged for staying home and for working. We are judged for homeschooling or sending our kids to traditional schools. We are judged for screentime and having a picky eater child. We are judged for having an energetic and playful kid and we are judged for having a reserved and quiet one. We are constantly judged as mommas.
We rarely acknowledge this fear because mommas are supposed to be tough. We are not allowed to show weakness, except maybe to other mommas. The only problem is Judgey Judgerson.
Judgey Judgerson is you and me, momma.
Mommas are the harshest judges of other mommas. Why? Because we think that our choices are somehow better than another mommas choice. We believe that it is our right to pass judgment especially if we’ve been there and done that. Simply because momma knows best.
I am ashamed that I have been Judgey Judgerson at times. I have judged a fellow momma without realizing her child had an illness. I have judged a fellow momma for giving up on breastfeeding. I have judged a fellow momma for simply not being there during school functions without even wondering why she couldn’t be.
I know you have been Judgey too. It’s okay. You can say it out loud. You can admit it to yourself. You can share it with us. This is a safe space.
Let’s put a stop to Judgey Judgerson. Let’s be the strength that each momma needs to survive and thrive motherhood. Let us lift each other up instead of picking on each other. It is tough enough being a momma and each of us knows that. One cannot have a tougher time being a momma than the other. Motherhood is simply hard. It is many beautiful and amazing things but it is also one of the hardest things in the world to do. So let’s help each other do that, yeah?
Let’s rest knowing that each momma is doing her best to be a good mother every day. Know that sometimes all of us have bad days and we feel like locking ourselves inside the bathroom. Some days we feel like screaming our lungs out but cannot do just that. Trust that what may work for you may not work for me. Trust that our children may be different from each other. Believe that we are all trying and sometimes, that is all a momma can do.